


i don't care (as long as you love me)

by wouldratherbeaunicorn



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anxiety, F/M, Teen Romance, but connor's still dead so i guess not everything, cute kiddos, everything's nice, this is actually a bit angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 23:02:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15828723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wouldratherbeaunicorn/pseuds/wouldratherbeaunicorn
Summary: Sometimes, all that it takes is a little reassurance.





	i don't care (as long as you love me)

**Author's Note:**

> we love a procrastinating KWEEN (me)
> 
> we also love zoe and evan, hence the fic. have fun.
> 
> [title is from the song 'As Long as You Love Me' by Sleeping at Last]

Evan Hansen was very used to being lonely. Extremely used to it. And now he wasn’t. And that was slightly terrifying, because if Evan Hansen had to be lonely again, he might die. His life was in Zoe Murphy’s hands.

Zoe Murphy, who was kneeled down beside him, drawing him into a tight hug and rubbing circles on his back as he sobbed in front of her. They sat against her bed for a long time, and they were talking, and then they weren’t. All of a sudden, she’d looked over and he’d been sobbing.

“Evan. Ev’, hey, deep breaths. I’ve got you. Calm down, and then we can talk about what happened. But please, you gotta calm down.” Zoe felt Evan squeeze her a bit tighter, and take a shuddering breath, whimpering and accidentally knocking the back of her head with his cast.

When he finally calmed down enough to lay down and set his head in her lap, she took a moment to take it all in, watching his chest continue to stutter and his eyes turn upset whenever he caught sight of himself in her mirror. He was so cute. Absolutely amazing, with his beautiful blue eyes and his love of botany and the undeserved loyalty he extended to everyone he came across. Zoe wasn’t even sure when he started being there. He just was. And then he started being there in more ways than one, and all of a sudden Zoe realized that her stomach flipped every time he was even in her vicinity. She thought she was going to die, with how fast her heart was beating during their first kiss. Zoe knew then, that she and Evan Hansen had something special. She’d never stop thinking about him.

So many people, all of them her so-called “friends”, said she was insane for dating Evan Hansen. They said that she didn’t know him, and wasn’t it weird, that he cared that much? As if someone actually noticing Zoe Murphy was insane. She completely ditched the group after she’d posted a picture of them and someone commented “ew”. They said she was risking her reputation, a reputation that Zoe didn’t even know she _had_...

After the third time of him glaring at himself and turning his head in to face her stomach, Zoe spoke up. “Do you know how beautiful you are?” she asked, tangling her fingers in his hair.

He looked up and scowled at her, scoffing. “That’s such a lie. It isn’t even funny. Have you seen me?”

Zoe ignored him, continuing. “The first time we… you know… I remember looking at your eyes. And I noticed that you had, like, specks of gold in your eyes. And I remember thinking that you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. And it was all mine, and I couldn’t _believe_ it. I had something that was for _me_ , for once. In that moment, you were mine-”

“You still have me,” Evan murmured. “I mean, for as long as you want me. Which probably isn’t very long, because I’m a mess, obviously, I’m a mess. You deserve someone better, you deserve-”

“Stop.” Zoe was firm, but incredibly soft as she cut off Evan’s thought. “When will you realize that I love you so much? More than I love anything. I want you for forever, okay? You’re mine, Evan Hansen. And I don’t care, that you’re a mess, because guess what?”

Evan quirked an eyebrow, and Zoe laughed, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.

“I’m a mess, too. So it doesn’t matter. What’s written in your history, it’s history. Mine is, too. As long as you’re here with me, Evan. I don’t care who you are, or where you’re from, or what you did, as long as you love me. Okay? It doesn’t matter, because you’re you, and I love you, and I promise to love your past, and your wrongdoings, as long as you love me, too.”

“I love you,” Evan promised, fingers messing with the hem of her sweater. “I swear. I’ve loved you for years. Since I was, like, eleven. You’ve always had… The impact you’ve made on me, it’s… It’s indescribable.”

Zoe nodded. She’d heard this before, but it felt different now, for some reason. “The Clyde to my Bonnie.”

“Well, I don’t know if… If comparing criminals is-is the right way to go. But yeah, we’re meant to be. Although, I’d follow you even if you were on the run. As long as… As long as you loved me.”

They giggled, and Zoe put a hand on Evan’s face, leaning so their foreheads were touching. When she leaned back to look him in the eyes, he made a face, one of utter awe, and Zoe blushed wildly, pressing her slightly chapped lips to his. He was the first one to break, breathing in deeply and pulling her hair out of its scrunchie. He played with it, before pulling it on his own wrist and messing with her caramel locks as he spoke.

“I know that you… you and Connor didn’t, uh…. I know how you feel about your brother. And I just… I want you to know that we can drop all of that, if you want. What you did, and where you’re coming from… I don’t care, if you don’t care. If you see me… If you like me for me, and nothing else. Well, that’s all that I’ve wanted for longer than you could possibly know. So I won’t care, unless you want me to. And we will be fine.”

Zoe nodded, wiping at her eyes and kissing Evan’s forehead. “We’ll be fine. As long as you love me.”

_As long as you love me._

**Author's Note:**

> a bitch is tired and not wanting to do her homework. for every comment I will do one page of my apush packet and not flunk out of school during week three
> 
> DM me on tumblr @the-second-to-last-jedi !!! or not. i hate myself.


End file.
